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Resolute Debauchery

once i lost my keys
and someone said
pray to St Anthony.
he will help you find
it. she even had
a charm. i did eventually
find them. she was Mexican.

once i lost my friend
and someone said
pray to God,
He will help

always Willing

but my friend, as I said
from the beginning – as if
you found actual hope
within the false hope
i was implying –
my friend, was lost.
dead and buried.
not for lack of asking
but for lack of Doing.

now when storms rise
i don’t ask God
for help
and i don’t ask anyone
for help.
and some who used to know me
shake their heads,
why doesn’t he just ask God
for help?
and some even pray for me
‘dear Lord, we just…. i just…
just…. just…. ….just
Jesus’ name amen.

one day i may stop
and take one by the
hand and stare into
their eyes and say,
“i asked for help
as my baby breathed
her last breath in
my arms. if He won’t
help with that, why
would I ever ask
for anything
ever again?
ever?

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