... beauty ..., ... ghosts ..., ... God ..., ... life ..., ... love ..., ... music ..., ... poem ..., ... poems ..., ... poetry ..., ... relationships ..., ... the South ..., ... time ...

Ghosts Do Come and Go

Ghosts do come and go
With nylon strings and chimes
They sing placid songs of rainy
Moons and coming home soon.

And wearing translucent robes
They move in and out of walls
And memories and leave only
Glimpses of themselves in the

Corners of our eyes. But their
Songs – birthed in sorrow and
Strife – they sing out as clear
As dew drops on Spring grasses.

Advertisements
Standard

9 thoughts on “Ghosts Do Come and Go

  1. Michael?

    This work is beautiful in the way that pain can be if used for the right reasons…

    I have more to say about this piece but it will have to be when I get home.

    The format change here threw me a bit (I have ADD and it is hard to look at the split sections without wanting to run and hide in a dark place) but I am getting used to it.

    You – hit a nerve with this.

    M.L.

    • I can’t wait.

      You know I did go back and forth with the stanzas as opposed to just one long string of poetry. in the end I went with the stanzas if for no other profound reason than that I just thought it looked a little better with the line breaks.

      Often times the line breaks happen as I write via stream of consciousness.

      Other times, as you have noted, they are quite intentional.

      • “Ghosts do come.

        Ghosts do come and go
        With nylon strings and chimes
        They sing placid songs of rainy
        Moons and coming home soon.

        And wearing translucent robes
        They move in and out of walls
        And memories and leave only
        Glimpses of themselves in the

        Corners of our eyes. But their
        Songs – birthed in sorrow and
        Strife – they sing out as clear
        As dew drops on Spring grasses.”

        I think you should look at the ‘natural’ line breaks you have made here a little closer…

        If I were writing this I would have done very much the same – with a few changes. (only mentioned now because I feel close – you need not post this if you would rather not and you may leave out any portion of this comment without fear of offending in any way. If you ever want to talk it over I’m always around here somewhere *smile*)

        The first stanza is the kind of gleam I look for when there is a clear sky at night and no light pollution…

        I wouldn’t touch it.

        Stanza #2 I would have changed a bit to tighten the stanza.

        From –

        “And wearing translucent robes
        They move in and out of walls
        And memories and leave only
        Glimpses of themselves in the”

        to…

        ‘Wearing translucent robes
        they move in and out of walls
        and memories leaving only
        Glimpses of themselves…
        (in the corners of our eyes)’

        Then – in stanza #3?
        Something like this may have been done…

        but their songs – birthed in sorrow
        and in strife – they sing out!
        as clear as dew drops on Spring grasses…

        And so – it would read…

        Ghosts do come and go
        With nylon strings and chimes
        They sing placid songs of rainy
        Moons and coming home soon.

        Wearing translucent robes
        they move in and out of walls
        and memories leaving only
        Glimpses of themselves…
        (in the corners of our eyes)

        but their songs – birthed in sorrow
        and in strife – they sing out!
        as clear as dew drops on Spring grasses…

        *kiss*,
        M.L.

      • Form and structure have often time been things that I’ve either struggled with or disregarded entirely. Sometimes I have written long poems in one stanza only to arbitrarily divide it up into 3 line or 4 line stanzas, purely to make it visually aesthetic to me – and with a complete disregard for the flow of the words. Other times I have poured sweat over just the right format.

        This is one that just came out in these evenly spaced out four line stanzas. I do like your improvements and when I read it, it definitely becomes an M.L. poem (as you excel in the use of punctuation and formatting in your own poetry.) Thanks for the observations and for taking the time to comment the way you did. It’s improvements like these that I think we all long for when posting our stuff out there for the world to see. 😉

  2. Sonny says:

    You know it isn’t often I comment on your work… though I read it regularly. It’s usually the pieces in which I can feel the unchecked vibrations that I comment. Those are worth the words, yes?

    I wanted to comment here though… the structure of your work rarely engages me. It’s more the language, the tone, the description of some rarely understood sensation (not necessarily emotion). So the comments above on structure… interesting I thought. But I’m not sure that’s all…

    What I missed most in this one was that raw vibration. You know too much about “ghosts”… about the way they can haunt the mind and the spirit. Slipping in and out of you. Leaving you chilled. Sometimes empty. Sometimes comforted. Ghosts– sorrow and strife… you know too that that’s a bit of an easy out. Ghosts… the hauntings… the whispers in the dark… are born in the very act of living. In the joys and the pleasures as much as in the pain and sorrow.

    Forgive me for commenting when I’ve ‘missed’ something in your work. But this subject is too close to your spiritual home for you to leave it simply as a poetic work.

    You know you feel this deeper than you’ve expressed. Especially now.

    • I think Sonny, that you have a very unfair advantage over many of my other readers. You are privy to lots of information that would make some of these poems appear to have holes in them – especially emotional holes. Kind of like when you read the last chapter of a book first – then start from the beginning. You have unfair information about the story. 😉

      I know what it is you are missing. For people like you and I, when digging up ghosts, there is a desire to understand the deeper reasons why they’d visit and the deeper emotions that they would stir. This one little poem just is not that. It’s more like the friendly little Casper sitting around strummin’ his six string, only creeping me out just enough to make sure that I keep on walking away.

      Thanks for your comments…as always. And as Oct 27-Oct 31 draw closer, these bigger ghosts of mine are sure to be stirred up in some subsequent writing.

      🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s