last night i had a dream
that went on for days and
days. and you were in it.
always present. always
serene. your hair had a
different color from what
i remembered. it shimmered
in the sunlight and it
glowed in the moonlight.
it was longer than i
remembered. you always
walked a couple of steps
behind me. no matter where
we went. if i slowed my pace
to bring you to my side,
your pace slowed as well.
one day, very much by surprise,
you were walking in front of
me. you led me through a
dark forest. seems like it was
in the Pacific Northwest. the
smells of the forest floor
were pungent and sweet. wet
moss covering wet stones.
dark wet soil beneath wet rotting
leaves. there was mist around
us and above us the sun would
peek through the gray sheets
from time to time. lighting up
the greens and browns like
neon. i would hurry my pace
to be at your side, you would
speed up as well. always two
steps ahead of me. your hair,
lustrous and shimmering. and
soon you brought us to a break
in the forest and there was a
smooth stone covered beach.
large dark waves crashed relentlessly
against the shore and massive,
jagged rocks penetrated up from the
depths, like giant whales piercing
the salt-water sky for a moment before
tumbling back into the depths. we took
off our shoes and walked until the
frigid waters buried out feet. your white
gown was wet at the hem and i wished
to drop to my knees, like that woman
who couldn’t stop bleeding, and just
touch the hem of that gown. perhaps
as i did, you too, would feel power
leave you and I would, at last,
be healed. instead, we both gazed
out into the horizon. Morning’s
fresh sun straining hopelessly
to find cracks in the clouds so
that he could warm our wet feet.
you took my hand in yours and
looked into my eyes. as you spoke
to me with a voice like honey
i stirred, and felt that world peel
back like skin. i fought for sleep as
your mouth moved in slow motion
i willed myself to stay, but i was gone.
you were gone. your words, a lost whisper
bouncing off the bare walls of my room.